August 4, 2008: Welcome to Rick's Big Fat Blog

I've tried everything else.

Low carb, low fat, low cal -- you name it, I tried it, and failed. Sometimes, I had limited success, but never lost any more than a few pounds before I'd invariably fall off the wagon, say "f*** it," and go back to my bad eating habits. The extra weight has been badgering me since I was about 30 (I'm now in my early 40s).

A little background on my "problem": I was a thin child until about fourth grade, when overeating put me into the "pudgy kid" category. I was made fun of, etc., but still was moderately popular. I fell in love in the seventh grade, but watched the object of my affection (a cute little thing named Wendy) "go out" with other guys while I -- the dumpy, goofy kid in Sears "Husky Plus" pants -- went unnoticed. As a result of the depression the rejection brought, I ate more. Sweets and carbs were my mortal enemies, but I embraced them still.

Halfway through eight grade, I finally said "enough." I started eating right, lost the weight in about four months, and felt a lot better about myself. Girls finally stared to notice me for the first time in my (older) life -- even the really great-looking ones. When the two best-looking girls in class finally started to be "nice" to me, I knew I was on to something. So I kept eating right. I went from 145 pounds, 5'2" to 105 pounds, 5'5" (yep, i grew a little, too). And I was a really, really nice looking guy at this point, too.

That summer, while attending art camp (yes, there was once such a thing), I attracted the interest of a brunette named Terri. Of course, the preferred communication method of 1981 was via notes passed on to you through third parties. I finally "rendezvoused" with her later, after being assured that she was truly a "fox" through other guys who had seen her, and was not disappointed. Years later, I can still see her in my mind's eye, and can recall the little kiss (my first) we shared outside the dining hall not long after we met. Though we only lasted a few days (she left me for another art stud), I still felt like I pulled one over on somebody -- I was just a goofy fat kid in the body of a slender Tom Cruise almost-lookalike.

I never let a day go by without being thankful for my thinness. I put on a few pounds at age 17, and lost it again by 18. I started lifting weights and got into REALLY good shape around this time. I pretty much stayed this way until oh, my third year of college. That's when beer, success, and latency took its took. I went from about 150 up to 190, and looked "pudgy" again. My beautiful girlfriend, though, said I looked "fine," and so there went THAT motivation.

Keep in mind, I was never obese. My weight goes right to my stomach, chest (man boobs), thighs and chin. I resemble a later-life Alec Baldwin more than anything. And it seemed like every time it got out of hand, I'd reel it in with exercise and sometimes the pursuit of another cute girl. I laugh when I think about those guys who called me "tubby," "fatty," etc. when I was a kid, because I've been out with only the most beautiful women ever since (including a well-known actress, a few models, a lot of cheerleaders) and married a real stunner, too.

Rick at 40: Fat, Fatter, Fattest

I'm afraid to weigh myself. I know I will top 190. I think the biggest I ever got was the fall of 1997 -- about a year before I got thin and fit again for about two years -- when I tipped the scale near 200. Being married to a woman who eats almost anything (and gains little) and having two little kids does NOT make it easy to lose. And therein lies my problem -- lack of motivation.